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rose Wha' 'Zup Wi' Zoltan - Stories from the Road rose
"No gnus is good gnus." - Gary Gnu, gnuscaster for the Great Space Coaster

Quick Update: May 1st, 2001

Hey kids...I'm back on the road again. If you look at Zoltan's Schedule (someone looks at my schedule, right?), you'll see that I'm heading off to the very fine Scarborough Renaissance Festival, in lovely Waxahachie, Texas. It's a 20 hour drive from Toronto to Waxahachie, but me and the rats are going to do it anyway - that's dedication to the craft. There'll be a new tale and updates and everything else when I get back. If you're in Texas, come out and say hello. And if you're somewhere else, get yer flabby white ass to Texas, chickie...!

Most recent story: December 31, 2000

Well, it happened again - Zoltan let almost a half-year go by without updating these pages. You will have to forgive me, my gentle readers, since Zoltan webmasters for a handful of renaissance-related (and not-so-renaissance related) sites, sometimes my own site takes a back burner.

But I'm finished my run for the year, and what a year it's been! Most exciting was that at the Ontario RenFest Zoltan opened a little magic shop called Sorcerer's Apprentice, selling fine, hand-made wooden magic tricks (for people who like fine, hand-made wooden magic tricks). Business was such that this year, I need to hire someone on to Help Zoltan Out. Ideally, this should be someone with at least a little magic experience already, at least 16 years old, and with transportation to and from the Ontario festival (just outside of scenic Milton). Last year I had two great women working for me ('cause Zoltan's an equal-opportunity slave-driver), but now I need another person to help out. Not only is it a great chance to be part of the fun and frolic that is the Ontario Renaissance Festival, in addition to being paid (of course!) Zoltan will also bestow some close-up lessons upon whomever helps me out. Given that I've some fifteen years of close-up magic experience, this ought to be worth something...

So! If you are a budding magician or know someone who is, email Zoltan at zoltan@justadequate.com and maybe you'll get to be out there this summer, where the women wear bodices and the men are just a little bit happier.

Other than that, as always, it was a great year. So many of you came up to say that you've been enjoying the show, and that warms the cockles of my heart (and trust me, nobody likes cold cockles. Don't ask...), even at faires where I'm competing with some real heavyweights. Now if I could just get some of you to warm the other bits of me...or cool me off by buying me a beer...

My cute n' fuzzy ratty assistants, Crawley and Skave, are still alive and send little nibbles and licks of thanks to the many of you who donated pinches and bits of turkey leg, bread and other delectables to them over the past year. They are getting a little long in the tooth, but if cover them in plastic and keep them in the freezer I think you'll all get to see them again in this coming season, where-ever you are.

And where will Zoltan be in 2001? For starts, I look forward to a run at the very fine Scarborough Renaissance Festival in loverly Waxahachie, Texas, followed by my usual run through the summer and fall (and if you don't know what that is, back to the Zoltan Schedule Page with you, and next time come with your homework properly prepared).

And what will I be doing until then? More webmastering, developing and building new tricks for the magic shoppe at the Ontario faire, adding new little bits to my show (the Extreme Show in Ontario went so well this year, it'll be brought back again next year), plus I'll teach you all how, with some old garden hose, macaroni noodles and a little paste, you can build your own nuclear reactor...

So c'mon by, tell me that someone reads these things, and did I mention that you should buy me a beer...?

     signed, Zoltan the Adequate

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Have a favorite Zoltan story, or a picture to send? You can get it to me at: zoltan@justadequate.com.

"Is this not the finest bunch of stories that...
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Last updated December/00. Copyright © 1999. All rights reserved.
Website creation, layout and original artwork by Andy Blau.