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Fuzzy-wuzzy was a rat...
Great rats, black rats, lean rats, gray rats, tawny rats, grave old plodders, gay young friskers, fathers, mothers, uncles, cousins. Cocking tails and pricking whiskers, families by tens and dozens, brothers, sisters, husbands, wives followed the Piper for their lives" - Robert Browning, The Pied Piper of Hamlin
This first one here is named Crawley - Aleister Crawley (and bonus points if you smirk at that). When I got him he was tiny, no bigger than a walnut or so, and mostly all he wanted to do is eat, pee and sleep. Now, almost a year later, he likes to chew on plastic things, too.
I'll admit it, at this point I'm a total rat convert. They're great animals, hyper-intelligent (they get out of the cage more often than I'm happy to admit), and very affectionate. There's a lot of online stuff about rats, the best site I've seen is at Squeak! - lots of pics and info and so forth. Rats get a bad rep - always portrayed as little garbage diggers with glowing reds eye chewing on the decrepid flesh of the living, which is untrue. Mostly. The eyes are really more of a glowing burgundy than red.
I took the rats down to Georgia with me for my second season at the GA faire, and they were a big hit. They're accomplished little shoulder-riders, and everyone who sees them wants to play with them, hold them, and be peed on by them. They're like little teeny kitty-cats...that chew on the decrepid flesh of the living. Really though and in truth, in all my years as a renfaire performer I have never seen a better prop in the streets than a live rat (and if you steal my idea, I will hunt you down, slit open your stomach and sew your rats up inside of you. Try me.).
But just carrying rats is not enough for ol' Zoltan. For the '99 season of the Ontario RenFaire, I started working with the rats on stage. In particular, I bit their heads off...really. If you got to see it, it's a treat. Not only that, but I've trained the little beggars to stick their heads inside my mouth at my command. Can you believe I'm still single?
So next time you see me at the faire, in a loud, clear voice yell out, "Hey Zoltan! Lemme see yer rat!"
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Website creation, layout and original artwork by Andy Blau.
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